ROMANTICIZING ALCOHOL
What is This Illusion
Is alcohol really the enemy?
Maybe, Maybe Not
What is it about drinking alcohol that lures us in so hard? Yesterday, a friend of mine video-called me. He was at a riverside, under a full moon and a roaring bonfire, nursing a glass of whiskey. And I would be lying if I said that I was not tempted by the sight like a moth to fire.
No, I did not drink, and this morning I am still sober and counting. It’ll be 11 months soon and then a year come January. But I did doubt my decision to not drink for a few hours. I had to sit and breathe and bring myself to the present. And I didn’t even need alcohol to function during my drinking days. So, what is it that gives this golden liquid so much power?
Had there been no consequences, I would have run for a drink after that call. Now that I am sober, a lot of that ‘fun’ is not there in my life anymore. But I still see a lot of my friends ‘enjoying’ the drink and still functioning in their seemingly happy and successful lives.
I would have hated myself in the morning when I would have woken up with my pillow covered in sweat and drool, my head pounding with an intense ache, and my mouth smelling like dog poo. Not to mention the tomfoolery I would have indulged in under the influence.
Elusive Inner Peace
I am happy as I am right now, sober, present, and living life as it is. But do I miss a few of those setups I used to drink in? Yes. Are those setups boring now without the drink? Yes.
I guess it has something to do with me rather than the drink I have or the setup that I am in. I go hiking these days instead of drinking, but do I enjoy it as much? No. It still doesn’t give me that euphoria that drinking provided me with, in fact, no other activity provides me with that elated state of mind than those initial glasses of whiskey did. (Of course, things always went downhill from there.)
Road Ahead
I talked with a yogi a couple of months back and he said that it has something to do with the attachment we have towards life and living in itself, the Sanskrit word for which is Maya, illusion herself. It is this illusion that makes us run after external highs rather than seeking internal peace. And I couldn’t help but think a lot over these sober months, is this worth it? The answer, despite everything that I have written so far, was a resounding ‘YES.’
Maybe I have a lot more to explore and find answers to a lot of life’s questions, but I would like to tread those paths sober. Yes, despite the missing feelings and lost emotions. Maybe I will rediscover them along the way.
