PERSONAL STORY
An Alcohol Withdrawal Dream
The thoughts are grim, yet so profound…
I had a dream last night. In my dream, it was a pleasant Saturday evening. I wrapped up my work for the week and was ready to party. So naturally, I went to a bar.
This bar in my dream looks amazing on the outside. It has a black wooden door and a few people were queuing outside. Since it is ‘my’ dream, I jumped up the queue and got inside.
Now the interior of the bar is something very soothing to the eyes. It has mud-colored tables with highly polished cushioned chairs. But there is something wrong with the place. There are no waiters anywhere around and despite the queue outside, there is only one other person in the bar.
But the dream me sits down in a chair and as if by magic, a waiter appears out of nowhere and comes to my table. I give him the name of my favorite whiskey and he backed away with a reverential bow.
The next thing I know is that I am sipping that drink and eating roast cashew with it. I feel wound down, all my problems and stress vanish. It’s me and the drink, doing a virtual dance together.
The scene vanishes and this time I am near the counter asking for the bill. The waiter said politely that it was too soon for me to live and that the door won’t open for me. I was perplexed and asked, “What do you mean the door won’t open?”
I looked in the direction he pointed. Where the door should have been, there was a black wall staring at me. I looked back at the waiter and he smiled and gave me another drink.
It’s after a few drinks now. I am tipsy and there’s a weird feeling of warmth and sadness mixed together. I am lost in my own thought when a sudden commotion alerts me. I look towards the source of the sound and see a man who was creating a scene.
He is reeling on the floor and coughing up blood and vomiting at the same time, and then he shivers violently one last time, and stay silent, motionless.
Just like that, I realize that this man is dead. Things happen fast now. I see four men enter the bar from thin air, pick up the body, and leave with it. I am terrified and I look up at the waiter. He gives me this sinister and knowing smile and points at the counter behind him. It is full of infinite bottles of my favorite whiskey.
My head is spinning and I wanted out. “I don’t want to die,” I shouted to myself. I don’t know how, but here I am, somehow not inside the dreadful bar. But I am not safe yet. Let me describe this new place where I seem to be standing.
It is a weirdly shaped hilltop. On one side there is a wall that shoots towards the sky and is seemingly never-ending. And on the other side is a sheer bottomless drop to nothing. However, there seems to be another way. On the wall that I face is a plank of wood that looks misplaced.
By that time, my inebriation is gone and I want out of here, wherever that is. I try to yank the wood out of the wall, and it comes out. Now I see a square hole through which one person can crawl through. I peer into the hole and I see light at a distance.
I feel relief rush over me. I feel like someone is watching over me. I push my torso through the hole and lift my legs and poof! Here I am, in the light. There are hundreds of people, all cheering at me; giving thumbs up, and looking elated.
What Does It Mean
And that’s when I woke up this morning. Usually, I don’t remember much of my dreams, but I remembered this one like a vivid movie playing over and over.
Maybe it’s some kind of communication between my subconscious and conscious mind to align them both that it’s time I actually quit this substance and get back to my life. All the violent scenes that crept up in this weird dream are certain possibilities if I continue.
Getting sober is quite the bittersweet journey for me so far, but I will keep treading the road, no matter how many times I fall down.
Thank you so much for reading.
